'Tis So Sweet

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
Oh for grace to trust Him more

Singing "How I've proved Him o'er and o'er" has always provoked a twinge of guilt in my heart. What exactly have I proven? That countless times, I am silent in the face of conflict. That I have "served" Jesus for years with little to no joy in my heart. That I tend to judge others without thought of my own sin. That I avoid uncomfortable situations, rather than show others God's perfect grace through my own failings.

But this is exactly what I am supposed to prove "o'er and o'er."

The Bible is not full of heroes, or even people walking on the "straight and narrow." Look a little closer. The "heroes" of our faith were murderers, adulterers, liars, polygamists, idol worshipers, and all other kinds of screwed up people. Just like us. Though some of our sins might be more subtle, they are just as consequential (read: we deserve death no matter what we do). God obviously doesn't require anything close to perfection to be glorified. He makes it happen. 

All these years I've interpreted this song to mean, "I trust God in every circumstance, and do everything He wants of me perfectly. People see Jesus in me 24/7. Look at this, I have given up all attempt at control and never resist being obedient."

Wrong.

Trusting Jesus is so sweet. It's a crisp breath of fresh spring air, to realize for the umpteenth time in my life that nothing I can do, say, or pretend will get in the way of God's plan and purpose for my life. Things will go wrong, people will not always have the best opinion of me, I will not always use my time and energy in the best way, I will FAIL. Because only God is perfect, infallible, and completely trustworthy.

Singing this song this morning, I realized that this is "how I've proved Him o'er and o'er" and will continue to prove Him the rest of my life. I will be living proof that I am a mess without Jesus. That His grace is the only reason I can face the world and still have hope. That trusting in Him doesn't mean I will be perfect, but that the end result of all my fumbling and stumbling will be. That as long as God is my focus and my desire, He will be glorified.

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
Give me grace to trust You more.